“No man should date someone with the word ’teen’ in their age...”

"He was, single-handedly, the most immature person I have ever met. I have never been so casually turned off, and that's why it changed my dating age range. I mean, is someone my age going to be that immature too? Yes, potentially, but from my experience, the older men who are chronically single are also often that way for a reason.

The 59-year-old guy even admitted to dating a 20-year-old, which also turned me off – she was young enough to have technically been his great-granddaughter."

"I broke it off with her when I started dating someone else, yet I would wake up in the morning to 40 unread texts from her, all paragraphs long. She would show up at places I frequented, trying to run into me. 

Eventually, I had to block her number and change my entire schedule to avoid seeing her."

"He became more needy, dependent, and controlling as he got older, and he really wanted her to himself. I think he yearned for someone who would sit around and do nothing with him. Once I was out of college, when he was in his late sixties, they really only had each other. Mom got a job that he resented around the time he fully retired, then COVID hit when he was in his mid-seventies, and I think that’s when the dementia started (in hindsight). The last few years of their marriage were spent with him confused and aggressive while my mom had little patience with his deteriorating mental status. He (thankfully) had a stroke that took him out before the dementia could. 

My mom told me my whole life not to marry anyone who was so much older than me and that all of their issues were rooted in that and his first family (also, his Jewish family never accepted her), so I married someone exactly my age."

"At 19, I would never have gone out with him if I had known he was a decade older. But he took away that right and even said that is precisely why he lied: so I would date him. 

We broke up shortly after that because I felt I had been tricked – no man should date someone with the word 'teen' in their age."

"Truthfully, I only dated her because we were out in the sticks and there just weren't very many 'subculture' people around out there. 

She also wasn't very good in bed. I don't know why our culture promotes this sexual fascination with women in that age range, but women in their thirties are much better in the sack."

"I've been safe and out for five years now, but the CPTSD still rears its head more than I’d like. I don’t believe ALL age gap relationships are bad, but I am much more cautious about them. 

I’m happy when people tell lovely stories, but I do think that ‘age is just a number’ also isn’t a good blanket statement. It’s a mix and should be understood as such, just like any other relationship factor."

"As someone now in my thirties, it's wild to think about how I would not ever date a college student like that."

"I completely forfeited who I was to make men happy who didn’t like me as a person (both of them eventually flat-out told me this) and didn’t want me to develop as an individual. 

I am in the lifelong process of de-indoctrination from codependence."

"I got so bad that when we separated, I needed my sister to come to the supermarket with me, as I was so scared. I basically became severely agoraphobic over the course of the relationship. The only places I went were to work (at a supermarket, and even then he would come to my work and sit on a bench and watch me, or would walk around for hours, to the point I broke down to my manager, and when I broke things off, they banned him from the store) to my parents house for dinners, to my biological dad’s house as long as my ex was present. It was a rough time, but I was so young when we got together that it was all I ever really knew. I still struggle at times; my social anxiety flares up sometimes, but I’m so much better than I was!

COVID was horrific for so many people, but it saved me in a way. I was classified as extremely vulnerable due to breathing problems, so my partner had to stay at his mum’s place when he went back to work so he didn’t bring the virus home to me. I felt so much happier when he wasn’t there. It was just my dog and me. I made friends online and even streamed video games with them, and it was so nice having a group of people I clicked with. As soon as my ex came back, it was just fear and dread, and I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. I’m forever grateful for those online friends, many of whom I’m still good friends with and have met in person now!"

"I most likely won't have a partner to grow old with, and I didn't think of that in my mid-twenties."

"I learned the hard way that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. I felt like his manager/mother, all while I was trying to grow up myself. 

I feel like I wasted what were supposed to be some of my best years on him – so yes, I absolutely regret it."

"Also, because we are both very opinionated people, I felt controlled and misunderstood, and he felt ignored and unloved. Our relationship came with a lot of difficulties, but I think dating someone with a large age gap can be an obstacle.

Older people, from my experience, have a habit of overdoing it with their experiences and trying to mold you into what you’re not."

"She definitely romanticized the idea of it, but she felt trapped in part because she didn't know that it's such a mixed bag. It's freeing, and you can live on your own terms, but it's economically difficult and lonely."

"We were together for almost seven years and married for one before he got bored and sought out someone younger (I was 27, and she was 25).

He's been dead for almost a year now – good riddance."

"Now that I’m in my late thirties, I only regret feeling like I was a fool or a child after the relationships ended when it really came down to being in different life stages."

"His kids were also only 12 years younger than me, so I think that was also a big factor. We ended amicably, but I'd never do it again."

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.