"I'm glad my kids exist, and I love who they are, but I don't love what being a mom has done to me and my mental health."

Content warning: child loss and depression.

"I'm glad my kids exist, and I love who they are, but I don't love what being a mom has done to me and my mental health."

"I love being a mom, but doing it and only it 24/7 is my personal hell."

"I wouldn't change a single thing, and we are hoping to have more children, but I really underestimated the all-encompassing requirements and sacrifices of motherhood."

"My younger brother was born when I was 14, and my mom was solo parenting at the time, so he and I spent a ton of time together. As a teen, I did daycare pickups, nighttime feedings, and even taught him to read and wipe his butt. Of course, I had mixed feelings about the parentification of the situation, but I also felt caring for him was second nature, and I loved it. Even now, 24 years later, we’re still close.

Now I have two kids of my own, a preschooler and a fourth grader, and it’s exactly what I want. I’m fortunate to have a wonderful husband, to have had the ability to stay home with my kids for their first two years of life each, and neither of my children currently requires serious medical attention. Obviously, being a parent is challenging, but I find that being a spouse is often more difficult. Maybe because as spouses we’re our whole selves with each other, and with kids, there’s still a 'front stage' aspect because they can’t know how cool we really are yet. Who you have kids with matters a lot. If it's not their calling, you might struggle more than you had prepared for."

Anyway, all that to say I absolutely love being a mother because it’s all I’ve ever wanted. I feel fulfilled, and everything else is icing on the cake. It's definitely my calling. My son is my everything, and my life has improved drastically after having him. I smile more now than I ever did before."

"Parenting has brought out sides of me that I wouldn’t have seen otherwise.

It’s a constant lesson, and I believe it’s one of the most valuable spiritual wake-ups a person can get."

"I cried 24/7, I felt like my life was ruined, and therapy didn't help much because I didn't know how to express what I was feeling. I felt as if I had fallen into a bottomless pit of misery. Any suggestions from anyone (like feeding him with a bottle so I could get some rest, or going out to get some air and sunshine by myself) only filled me with guilt and made me cry even more because I felt like a bad mom.

I only started to see hope and enjoy motherhood somewhat about four months in. It became significantly better when my son started daycare at six months, and going back to work made me feel like a person again. He's eight months now, and I'm exhausted but thrilled."

"But at the end of every day, no matter how hard that day was, if anyone asked me if I would give it up, my answer would be 'No,' and if they asked me if it was worth it, I would always answer 'Yes.'

It's the hardest thing I have ever done, but also the most rewarding and fulfilling. I know I am making a difference every day in the lives of my children and my husband, who are the people I love the most. And I'm making a difference in the world, too, because I am raising well-behaved, functional human beings who will someday go out and contribute to society."

"I can have infinite patience for other children because I don't have the ultimate responsibility of making sure they learn how to behave. 

With my sons, I feel the weight of that responsibility, and unfortunately, I don't always have enough patience."

"I do wish I had gotten my crap together and had them sooner, though. We have had to work really hard and have never vacationed or anything as a couple prior because when we were stable enough to have kids, we felt we were getting too old, so we wanted to start then."

"From my vantage point, they are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I would still do absolutely anything for them, as long as it's good for them (and not sacrificing my well-being).

They’re adults and have had every advantage in life, many that I never had. They’re more supported in adulthood than I ever was, and some of that means they will not learn how strong they are, because they will not have to. Maybe that’s a failure on my part? We’re all going through this blind. It’s an experiment. And even now, I will not apply for jobs in another state. I have to be within driving distance of them because I am committed to seeing them at least once per month."

"For instance, when you see your kids struggling with things you can't fix, and they are teens or adults, it's a difficult adjustment, not only for them but for me mentally as well."

"It has tested every single part of me in every single way."

"But essentially, it's happiness, love, and pride. They're teens now, and I'm watching them flourish. My oldest in particular is so much like me as a young woman personality-wise that it almost scares me, but I'm watching her personality unfold, and she pursues and succeeds in the same things I wanted for myself but didn't achieve (long stories). She seems to be on track for joining the growing group of women who are doing very well on their own."

"They are more wonderful than I even imagined. I feel incredibly happy about the chance I had to be a parent, and I miss the daily tasks, although I also have a career I enjoy, and the 'kids' still need help now and then. It's so much more rewarding than I could have ever guessed.

There were serious challenges and hardships, and motherhood has broken my heart in ways nothing else could, but to balance that out, it has given me so much more love, happiness, and satisfaction. I would do it all over again a hundred times if I could."

"I have a good social life and personal interests, and I'm self-employed, but my kids are always my number one priority and my main concern.

I also lost my first child when she was 4 years old, so that just made being a mother even more precious to the children I have left."

"I was a stay-at-home mom for a decade and just started working again this year. I did not properly set myself up at the start, and I also am not ready for the demands of a full-time job and commute, since my kids are still in elementary school, so I am working as a nursery teacher in a school affiliated with my kids' school. Not only am I off when they are, but if they have a snow day, I also have a snow day. My hours are also shorter than theirs.

I thought it would be easy and come naturally, which is laughable now. Had I gotten therapy when I was younger, that might be true, but I've loved motherhood regardless.

A cousin once told me that to deal with kids, you need to be creative. For instance, if your kid is refusing to bundle up and it's 20 degrees outside, you could be 'going on a space adventure' and need to put on their space suit before going into the spaceship. I find this also applies as they get older, too, because they often need to put their way of seeing things down for a minute.

All in all, you have a relationship with each child that is unique and unlike the relationship you have with anyone else, including your other children. I don't know why we use the word love for everything when our feelings are so diverse! Each of my kids needs me in different ways and interacts with the world differently.

I try to hold on to my values and make decisions based on them when my emotions run high!

Anyway, I love motherhood, but I definitely didn't know what to expect!"

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.